unlearning

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The list of things she’s helped me unlearn about love is too long to give you here and it keeps unfolding but. 

All the love I’ve known before was chaotic, inconsistent, overbearing or some form of lost. 

She gave me a home (and a house too but I digress)… a home right there in those sparkling eyes of hers. 

She found me and loved every wild way, and she calmed me down. And now because of that we can both breathe.

How did I know love before? In giant apologies and social media affection. I knew love that pushed me into corners and made me feel small. 

Her?

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She loves me like this- she knows me. She knows me and she works so hard to help me see how well she knows me and it means the world, and I hate that it’s taken me so long to figure out this kind of love because I’ve missed so much along the way. But god it’s so good to be known and loved. Because I love live music, she’s brought me to countless shows. Concerts are my church and she is my Amen and Hallelujah.

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It’s in everything really, all the time she’s showing me that I matter so much, that I am worthy and good and she loves me… Because my heart needed to make a home with her, she got us this house. Because I love food she takes me to the best places and the farmers market twice a week. Because I love sunrises she wakes up early at least once on vacation. Because… …Too many things to list here now but her love is not a crazy overstated show, a yo-yo of neglect and keeping. It is a quiet blanket of knowing, a deeply generous love that wraps me up so wholly I forget what it was like to not be loved this well and isn’t that the best.

Also she is an actual goddess I swear have you ever seen a woman so lovely.

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