If there was one thing we didn’t foresee in all of this, it was the number of relationships that we would lose because we fell in love with each other. The fallout started almost immediately, with one of our closest friends choosing to not have a relationship with us anymore. It was jarring in the most heartbreaking way, and I’m still not sure that we understand it or have gotten over that loss. In a lot of ways, it’s been like grieving a death, being abruptly cut off from someone you talked to daily, claimed her kids as your nieces and nephews, and loved like a sister. Since that first one, there have been countless others…friends, family members, and casual acquaintances who have all decided not to speak to us.
We’ve tried to create space to grieve all of the lost relationships, both for ourselves and for our kids. There are still hard days, and I’m sure we will always miss some of the people we’ve lost, but the joy and happiness and laughter definitely outweigh the sad. We’re finding our people, we’re loving them hard, and we’re taking care of each other; our kids have new aunts and uncles and friends, they’re experiencing unconditional love, and their smiles are all the proof we need that we’re all going to be okay.
Life can be really hard, but it can also be really wonderful. A friend recently told me, “It’s brave to imagine your life in different and better ways,” and it is.
Here’s to bravery…and the happiness and love that follow.